Going Environ Mental

I have a strange affliction. I seem to be overly averse to pollutants in the environment. But there are two pollutants which get to me more than any others:

1) Sneezes
2) Diesel Fumes

When someone sneezes in a room I am in, I tend to hold my breath for 45 seconds or so - just so I do not have to breathe in any of their germs. Obviously, I try to be discreet about this, as I would not want to offend anyone. The multiple sneezers sometimes fool me though, as I have just started to breathe again as they fire off another salvo.

When I am on my scooter riding behind a truck blowing out diesel fumes from the exhaust, I also hold my breath. The problem being that if I cannot overtake quickly I end up almost crashing due to lack of oxygen.

So if you see a guy with a blue face weaving about on a white vespa behind a truck, you will know it is me.